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 "In prayer at night I enjoyed great peace, sweetness, and tears, with deep understanding of the divine perfections, especially of the infinite goodness. Then the rest of the day I was buried in desolation and exteriorly disturbed by thoughts of the future, aroused by the devil. By the word “exteriorly” I mean that the thoughts come in this way.

When the sea is swept by storms, the waters are raised by the wind and swell in huge billows. As these waves approach the rocks, they beat upon them as if they wanted to break them up and smash them to pieces. But not so! They beat upon the rocks, yes, but they do not break through nor do they smash them to pieces, though they may knock off a small chip here and there. No matter how great the waves may be, because the rocks are so hard, there is no danger that they would be shattered. Similarly, the soul at prayer is a rock because God holds it fast in his infinite love. It may even be called a rock of strength because the Sovereign Good imparts this strength to it.

Now the devil, envious of this high state of the soul at prayer, seeing that he cannot snatch it from the infinite grasp of the Immense Divinity, attempts, nevertheless, to disturb it to some degree. He assails it with temptations, or else with vain imaginings, or with different kinds of thoughts, or again, the better to deceive it, with his infamous lies. He does all this to distract it from deep attentiveness to God. Then what happens? Amidst these stormy waves of the devil, the soul stands firm like a rock, provided that it always remains firmly fixed in its beloved Good. These waves of thoughts, in fine, produce no other effect save to chip it a little, to distract it for a few seconds from this continuous, singular, lofty sight of its Beloved, even though, as I understand it, this is not diminished at such a time. I have said this the better to explain my meaning because there is really no question of more or less. It only appears thus to the soul. In fighting these attacks and repulsing them, the soul may appear to be at a disadvantage because it loses a little of its loving attentiveness and seems to be no longer in the embrace of its beloved Spouse. But God makes me understand that the soul is with him and that he is pleased to see it thus engaged in battle. This is more profitable for the soul since, as a result of what it suffers and endures in the struggle, it is purified like the rock, which before the storm may have been covered with debris, but after the storm is cleansed because the waves have washed it clean.

A word of warning is necessary here. When these storms of troublesome thoughts arise, one must remain always fixed in God without taking any notice of them. When the enemy sees that he gains nothing thereby, he is put to shameful flight, perceiving that by God’s help he is not feared. When I am beset by these storms of thoughts and other troubles, I turn to my God and say to him: “My Supreme Good, cast a little glance at the condition of my poor soul!” Then I pray that, if it be his Holy Will, he will deliver me from them, and then I carry on in this way. I must not fail to admit they give me a lot of trouble, but may they all be for the love of the Sovereign Good, to whom be honor and glory forever. Amen." ~Paul of the Cross' Diary on December 23, 1720 (31 days of Paul's 40 day Castellazzo Retreat in Vol. 1 on Page 17)

As noted on Page 17 of Vol. I: For Paul there is another temptation: to give way to anxieties about the future. In spite of the visions and assurances he had received from God, Paul will frequently be “disturbed by thoughts of the future.” On this day he likened this temptation to the powers of mighty waves that break upon the rocks without shattering them. Often Paul had witnessed the power of the sea in a storm. Frequently he explains God’s actions in one’s spiritual life by recalling the power of nature!

Paul on