Christ

Mary

Paul

Charism

Spirituality

Ignatius

Eckhart

Meditation

Directory

Home

Paul of the Cross' Diary on November 29, 1720
40 day Castellazzo Retreat in Vol. 1 on Page 9

"...I would like to explain what happens in my distractions. When I am distracted, my soul remains at peace with God, neither more nor less, no matter how disturbing the thoughts may be that molest me. At night I say to my mind: “Go wherever you wish — here, there, everywhere — you will always go with God.” What happens in these distractions, not counting those that are clearly temptations, I really cannot say, except that they are of indifferent things, and sometimes they turn out to be thoughts of spiritual things.

However, in line with the understanding that God gives me, and as I have come to realize, I know my soul remains always rooted in God and in his peace. But this is hidden and not evident to the senses, though the will is aware of this. It is the will which is the mouth and entry for the holy food of divine love. Even though it is fed silently, because of the hindrance from memory and intellect, which are lost in distractions, the will, nonetheless, remains attentive to its feeding on the love of God. At most, it does not relish the situation as much as when the powers of intellect and memory are at one with it.

It seems to me it is similar to a baby at the breast of its mother. With its mouth it sucks the milk even though hands and feet are gyrating about. Head can twist, bow, and move, but always it takes its milk because it never takes its mouth from the breast of its mother. It would certainly do better if it remained quiet instead of behaving as I said. Nevertheless, milk continues to flow down its throat because it never takes its mouth from the mother’s breast. So it is with the soul. Our will is the mouth and never ceases to imbibe the milk of holy love, even though the powers of intellect and memory go astray. It is true that the will is more invigorated when all powers remain together and quiet. Since the Lord does not wish me to understand it otherwise, I cannot better explain myself."